When is it ok to wish ill on someone?
Well, the short answer is: never.
And the long answer is: Really, NEVER.
It’s never ok to wish harm on anyone else. If you do, you’re actually inviting that bad energy back into your life tenfold. Karma doesn’t discriminate in that regard – what you reap, you will (eventually) sow. Always.
I actually know of several “spiritual” teachers who have given clients invocations of harm toward another person. Every time I hear of it – I shudder. (Seriously, yikes!) Thankfully, my first brush with understanding this simple truth came from my Reiki grandfather who taught me a very simple lesson: You never impose your will on anyone else. Ever. To do so is to practice black magic, and it will always rebound onto you. Always.
I learned this within the first week of studying Reiki and beginning to uncover my own gifts, but millennia of history in other traditions teach the same message, most commonly:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
If you don’t want someone wishing harm on you, don’t wish it on others. It’s really that simple. We only choose to make it more complicated by employing the three most dysfunctional attributes of the mind: justification, generalization, and rationalization.
Perhaps, though, rather than getting mired in the teachings of the past, or the simple truths that echo through their wisdom, it might be more practical today to think of it this way:
You can’t cast a negative net and expect to catch anything positive.
Nothing good comes from sowing or spewing venom or toxicity in the world. Even though it might “feel” good in the moment, it will ultimately cause more problems in the long run. Of course, the long run could be your next lifetime, but that still doesn’t make it right.
In this age of instant gratification and guarded consequences, it’s increasingly more important for us to remember the simple truths and the wisdom of the ages. They’ve lasted as long as they have because they’re as pure as it gets. Time can’t tarnish them.
As for what to do when you feel wronged by someone? It’s 100% natural to vent, cry, get angry and experience all of the emotions running through your body… stopping just short of desiring harm on the other party. Not only will you be properly managing your karma, you’ll also actually feel better for not having created more toxicity in the situation. That’s a win-win if ever there was one.
Or, as another great teacher once taught: turn the other cheek. Which can either translate as 1) allow yourself to be hit again, or 2) (as I prefer) turn and walk away, removing yourself from the drama of the other person, and staying true to who you are.
There’s no shame in disengaging. The only real loss is when you choose to engage in something destructive and negative from a place of hurt or fear, because it perpetuates the cycle of harm – a cycle you’re standing squarely in the middle of. Yikes!
September 1st, 2018 ·
LOVE that negative net example! Good for a little someone in my house.
September 2nd, 2018 ·
I’m so glad.
November 21st, 2018 ·
This seems generally wise and helpful. However, “stopping just short of desiring harm” suggests we have some control over our feelings and thoughts. We don’t; they arise, and we choose how to work with them. This includes the wish that others suffer. It should not be avoided nor suppressed as karmically dangerous or unacceptable, but understood as an expression of anger, helplessness and hurt. This is not to indulge nor amplify, but to acknowledge and relate to with compassion and curiosity, no less than other feelings and thoughts.
November 21st, 2018 ·
Yes – that’s 100% true. Feelings and are feelings, they come and go, and we don’t control that. It’s what we choose to do with them that we have input on. As you said, “we choose how to work with them.” So, you and I are saying the same thing, essentially (yay!). Feel the feelings, but then choose how you want to work with them. I choose to not wish harm (which is an action), no matter how angry or upset I am… because I believe it’s wrong, for many reasons.
June 22nd, 2019 ·
what if someone is continually, damaging your property?.
June 23rd, 2019 ·
Hi Philip, Karma isn’t about blanket acceptance of others’ behavior. We shouldn’t let people hurt us, walk all over us, or damage our property and simply accept their behavior, because, “well.. it’s karma.” That’s a lack of boundaries. We have to maintain our own boundaries throughout our life. If someone crosses over them there are consequences for that. How you choose to respond affects your karma. How they choose to act affects their karma. If, for example, you choose to respond in retaliation, by destroying their property, then that’s on you and there are (should be) consequences for that. If, however, you use laws to protect your property (and reinforce your boundaries), and the consequences go to the one damaging it, then that’s their karma to deal with. As it should be. Hope that helps.
July 9th, 2019 ·
Then avoidance might be a good thing. Let karma handle that.
November 4th, 2020 ·
Hello Philip .. I get where you are coming from . We have had persistent damage to our property ( mainly our cars ) we have never done as to anyone on our lives .. have always worked for everything we own and don’t interfere with anyone’s lives.. yet we have had sheer vandalism committed against us time after time after time . Police never do anything. I have wished harm on these people: I know cars don’t have feelings but each time we have had to fix vandalism. It’s cost us financially. ( money we can’t afford to keep having to pay out ) so yes, I do wish harm on them and I’m not ashamed to admit it
September 7th, 2019 ·
There are people who to deserve to be punished and many of them have wronged me. I’ll never forgive them for costing me my job when I’m a hard-working person who treats others with respect. That’s why I hate my enemies.
November 4th, 2020 ·
I hate my enemies too and get where you are coming from ( hugs )
November 4th, 2020 ·
Yes you have every right to wish harm on those people. The victims never receive justice for crimes committed against them. Victims have every right to wish harm and karma
November 13th, 2020 ·
Hi Becky, You are correct. You have every “right” to do what you want with your wishes. However, the article was pointing out that–based on the law of karma–that which you wish on others will return to you… often larger. So, while you can wish harm on others, it’s wiser not to. For your own sake.
That said, this is not the same as walking through life numb/neutral or without emotion, or letting people do you harm or walk all over you. You can feel all the feelings, (rant, yell, be angry or upset) and still keep strong healthy boundaries. This is the healthiest way to walk through life.
September 15th, 2019 ·
I try not to wish bad I just keep away from that sort of person.
I was falsley told I had cancer and made to have a hysterectomy once.
Bullied into the opp by my sister who was speaking to my surgeon. I had the opp and she never phoned me or offers to help me. She told me sharply it was just a precaution opp. Then she turned her head away from m She died of cancer a few years later.
My boyfriend at the time was visiting his X wife telling her I was dying of Cancer. I was told by a man who came to see me in hospital what he was doing. When he came to see me in hospital I told him I had had the all clear. His face dropped at the good news. He died of cancer and refused treatment. I did not wish it so much time had gone I didn’t care I had broken contact with them.
I know it was Karma they brought upon themselves. It doesn’t give me pleasure but it does give me a sense of justice. Elizabeth D.
September 25th, 2019 ·
I’m so sorry you went through that. And yes, sometimes just “keep(ing) away from that sort of person” is the best policy.
December 30th, 2019 ·
What about wishing misfortune on the man that repeatedly molested my daughter and received NO punishment by means of the law or church? He’s remained untouched while my daughter suffers deeply every day. I hate him. I am very angry at this injustice!
January 11th, 2020 ·
I am so so sorry. That is wrong on every level. My heart goes out to you both, because this should never have happened. Your anger is completely understandable, and I would never suggest that you should not be angry at this injustice. What happened was wrong. Both what happened to your daughter and the lack of accountability. I hear you, and I send you both love and virtual hugs for what you’ve been through. My hope is that with time, you both find healing, and that the injustice is remedied somehow.
January 20th, 2023 ·
your dauter is strong and should stay strong and she’s not alone .
March 18th, 2020 ·
Martina, the people living above me make a lot of noise. Whenever I complain to the building manager, they make even more noise, banging their feet on the floor late at night in retaliation. They are a young couple, and I am alone and older. I have found another place and I’m moving, though it has been hard on me physically and financially. So what is wrong with hoping they have the same experience someday, and find out what it feels like. I want to say to them before I go, I wish you karma. Is there anything wrong with saying that?
March 19th, 2020 ·
Hi Trish – firstly, I’m sorry you’re having to move and that you experienced that. I have too – and it’s infuriating at times. I definitely have called my fair share of building managers in the past, so I’m glad you did. Unfortunately, instead of realizing they were being inconsiderate, they chose to ignore their role in all of it. That means, for them, their “lesson” will be bigger and more severe. Will it happen in this lifetime? The next one? We don’t know. What matters now for you is that you leave free and clear. Carrying resentment in your heart will only hurt you – not them (as they’ve shown they are incapable of empathy). So… I ask you: what good does it do for you to wish them ill? Could you instead say: “May karma take effect… and may I be released from all anger.” Karma will always take effect, we just don’t get to say when. What matters is that we keep our side of the street clean, practice good boundaries and empathy, and release the things that keep us stuck. Is this easy? Certainly not. Sometimes it’s easier than others. So, my wish for you is that your new home brings you much joy and peace, and you find neighbors who are kind and thoughtful.
June 12th, 2020 ·
I am going through something similar with neighbors. They do not see their inconsiderate ways. The situation seems to be going way left. A lot of lies being told about someone I know. They said about us “God don’t like ugly”. Thats funny because I was thinking the same. It must have been meant to be to bump into this statement and reply. I am going to use the “karma/release” mantra. The the OP of the comment,
I know how you feel and glad you are moving. I do not have long to go. Anyone reading this, please send some positive vibes my way to help. Thank you.
June 13th, 2020 ·
Tia, I Hope the karma/release mantra helps. And on the next full moon, you can use a “release” invocation that I wrote some years ago – it’s most recently on my instagram on March 20, 2019. Or, if you prefer, there’s a newer one from May 7th of this year. (IG: @martinaefaulkner) Sending you many positive vibes! -Martina
March 19th, 2020 ·
Hey I’ve wished horrible things on people before In the past, when I was younger I didn’t understand karma or the power of the tongue I was about 18 or 19 and even younger then that, now that I’m older I’m 25 and I take words very seriously bcuz I know the power of manifestation. I’ve ask god and the universe for forgiveness and asked that god protect them, (the people I wished harm) bcuz I’m truly sorry but also afraid of my own karma, I know now that my karma can skip me and go on to my future children, or other loved ones. which I do not wish to happen. Sometimes, I find myself getting so angry and worked up that I would start putting these scenarios together or I will find my emotions building up and I’ll would think the bad things I want to say, (BUT I DON’T SPEAK THEM) but I do know thoughts become things, but then moments later I ask god and the universe for forgiveness and to please forgive my emotions, I don’t know why I have such a mean streak and I don’t know why I keep allowing myself to get so angry when I know that it’s the wrong way to go. Especially straight to wishes harm on somebody even if split seconds later I’m asking god to forgive these emotions. I know god and the universe are forgiving, but sometimes I feel as though I’m not being heard or forgiven because of my anger, I’m not the type of person to act on my anger but I’m someone who would wish things, with full knowledge of the tongue being as powerful as it is. Most of all, I feel a uncontrollable amount of anxiety and guilt, especially guilt, especially if I receive what I manifested. The anxiety is always the worse because I know my karma is coming . But i don’t know when. When I comes to my karma involving my actions, it always happens right away. I remember I stole something once, I came home and my mom needed me to help her cut onions, and I sliced my finger with the knife, I noticed it was the hand I stole with. When even I do something I know is wrong And I still do it, I admittedly receive my karma. But when it involves my words or bad thoughts I dnt know when it’s coming i dnt know if it’s bcuz I’ll ask for forgiveness and then I’ll “take back” what I said. I feel like it’s a recurring thing and that the universe and god has to be tired of it. Even though I know that’s not true. But my mind makes me feel that way. I always ask god to forgive me and I’ll take back those horrible wishes, but the guilt of me saying it, is the worse because I know it’s wrong, also because I don’t want no one to feel pain of losing a loved one. The guilt set in especially when I ask for something and receive it and then I”ll allow myself to get so angry, I wish harm on people. I feel so undeserving of god and blessings, no matter how much I ask for to forgive my words even if it’s seconds later. Sometimes I feel like this guilt I have with me is apart of my karma.
March 22nd, 2020 ·
If I had only one thing to say to you it’s that it was very brave of you to share that. And if I could say two things (which I can), I’d say: take that bravery you have and use it to work on forgiving yourself, so that you can live more freely. xo
March 22nd, 2020 ·
“…perpetuating the cycle of harm”, love that. Don’t let other people infect you with their pain and pettiness. Rise above and don’t look back. Your life is too short to let someone else ruin it.
July 13th, 2020 ·
So, are you saying it’s okay for my ex in-home landlord to throw me out knowing I had (have) no where to go? Me, my sister, her boyfriend, & our friend we’re living there, but he decided to act like I was lying about asking to move in, about having my cat there,
(she is potty trained.), & lying about buying food for that house which in fact I know I spent money in that house when I didn’t even have to because I wasn’t even living there at the time. He crossed WAY too many lines when he called me a liar, because in fact, I know I NEVER lied to this man. I know what he’s trying to do, & I promise he will not like the outcome of any of this. I’m trying to “turn the other cheek.” But when he’s throwing all of us out one by one because he wants to be with my 17 year old sister isn’t going to cut it. I have a question for you. If you were in this situation, what would you do? If you were in my shoes, how would you handle this? I’m going to wait for your response before I go in attack mode.
July 13th, 2020 ·
Hi Michael, There’s a lot to unpack in all you shared. Firstly, though, I’m really sorry you’re going through this – I can hear how stressful it is. Secondly, there’s a difference between pursuing justice and not wishing harm on someone. There are laws about eviction in every state, so I would look those up first and foremost. Then see if there is a free legal service for renters’ rights. Most states have them. “Not wishing harm on someone” is something I teach and share, because it actually does no good. It rarely (if ever) results in harm happening to the person it’s wished upon; however, it does actually cause harm to the person wishing for it. How? Because it keeps you stuck in emotions that are harmful to you (anger, etc.) and keeps you attached to that person, because you’ve now invested energy in them. Which is the equivalent of tying your boat to theirs. Not good. So, since you asked how I would handle this: I’d look up the laws, and stick with pursuing justice for anything wrongful. That would be the approach I would take. And again, I’m sorry you’re all going through this. Take care.
April 27th, 2021 ·
People like that will be miserable until the day they die. I am currently experiencing a similar situation. [Names deleted] trashed my car twice, ruined and stole my personal property, and financially defrauded me.
I suffer from daily PTSD and dread going to my office. There is a special place for people like that. In the end, they reap what the sow.
May 5th, 2021 ·
Hi Kare, I hope you have reached out to a therapist to help you with the PTSD. May is Mental Health month, so there’s no time like the present to invest in yourself and your well-being. And you are right, we do (eventually and ultimately) reap what we sow… which makes investing in your own wellness even more beneficial. I am hoping for better days ahead for you. -Martina
July 21st, 2020 ·
I ussually don’t hate anyone,if someone do something wrong I easily forgave and just avoid,but the worst thing happened,my aunt whom I thought like a second mother,did the terrible thing to us.My mom was the one helping her since they were young and even took care of her kids,my mom bought land property when she was still single it supposed to be her’s but she shared it equally with her sister,now that my mom wanted to sell her part for some emergency reason,we get to know that they build a house in my mom’s place,and where is thier area she also don’t want to sign since it’s in her name even I told them that I will pay all the expenses in transferring my mom’s land into her name just she sign to give authority to my mom as it’s my mom’s property anyway ,that way they don’t have to demolish there house,we have all the rights legally,but we chose to don’t sue them as I was worried about my mom’s health I can’t put her in so much stress,We realized that they wanted to have everything,so without thier help I paid the legal exchange of 2 titles,that cost too much money.they did not help in anything,but still they were angry and said bad things to my mom knowing that my mom have a heart problem,My mom is the kindest person I know she couldn’t believe that she have evil sister.my mom died of heart attack and I cannot forgive them.I feel that life is so unfair for good people..sometimes I’m thinking that I just leave it to God that if karma is real they will have what they deserve,but deep inside my heart I wanted to kill them with my own hands.that I wanted to do everything possible to ruin thier lives,I imagine to see them in hell.
July 31st, 2020 ·
Mia, Firstly, I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved family member is one of the hardest things we will all have to go through at some point in our lives. So, I send you my condolences and hope that time will help your pain heal, and that the happy memories of your mom will mend your broken heart. Secondly, you are right that some people do things that hurt others. You are also right that God will eventually sort it out. As I said to Karen, the timing is out of your control and probably out of your sight. What matters now is that you honor your mother’s kind soul, and allow your heart to heal. Karma does not mean that we rollover and let people take advantage of us. It means that we do our best in our own life, which includes having strong boundaries around people who aren’t kind or good. So, for you, allow your heart to heal. Don’t focus on forgiveness, yet. Someday you will want to – because forgiveness is for you. It frees you from the other person. Without forgiveness, they will always be taking up space in your heart and mind (rent-free!). When you forgive, you essentially evict them from your heart and mind. Again, I send you my deepest condolences.
July 26th, 2020 ·
Can I ask why poeple who do .. do bad onto others cheat lie steal and never get caught or pulled on their actions they go off knowing they got away with it n be happy when the lives of family they wronged is still shattered n broken u say bad actions catch bad karma so how and why do wrong poeple get the gift of luck n love when they have trampled on innocent poeple who only ever had good intentions n done no harm to them where does karma lie then please
July 31st, 2020 ·
Hi Karen, It’s a good question, and the answer requires a bit of mind-flexibility. Karma doesn’t recognize time. So, someone may not receive their karma for “bad” actions in a timeframe that you will see. Sometimes they will, but it’s not about your timeline, it’s about their timeline. This means they can receive their karma at any time from the moment of the incident, all the way through future lives. The thing that’s important to remember about karma is that you can only impact your own – which is why it’s important to do your best, always, in all ways. (And also why “wishing harm” on someone is more likely to impact you and your karma, than you will ever see it impact someone else. Hope that helps explain it.
July 27th, 2020 ·
Karma is definitely real. Years ago My boyfriend at the time and my brother and his girlfriend decided to move into a house together. I was so frustrated by my brother’s girlfriend because she did not contribute to the house. She was stealing our rent money after we gave it to my brother then would somehow convince him we were stealing the money back. I confronted her many times because I could see clearly what she was doing. Blinded by only God know what my brother stood by her. My brothers now ex-girlfriend has some mental issues and was in a bad car accident as a kid so she has a slight deformity with her back. One day she and I were in a really bad argument. I was pregnant with my son at the time and extremely frustrated with her and the overall situation in the house. In a rage I called her retarded, I feel so bad even writing this so many years later. When I said it I quickly rescinded the statement knowing it was wrong. I tried to clean up the comment for her sake but the damage was done. Luckily I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who had a health scare early on but overall is healthy and bright. A year after giving birth to my son I became pregnant with my daughter who has many developmental delays and was diagnosed with autism in January of this year. I have a long way to go on this journey but I’m praying I will have peace with the universe at some point in this lifetime. I try very hard not to become offended but to accept the path presented to me knowing in the end it will all make sense or work out the way God has intended. I don’t claim to be a master of this yet but I’m hopeful I will give better energy to this world.
July 31st, 2020 ·
Yes, that is the best way about it: to give better energy to this world. It reminds me of a quote I saw this morning that I very much enjoyed: “The soul that perpetually overflows with kindness and sympathy will always be cheerful.” – William Godwin
August 11th, 2020 ·
This is so very true. I don’t get on with my brother at all and I have to fake it for the sake of not causing anything , but wishing that upon him will only effect me in the long run and end up having a negative impact on me. I guess I can just wait for him to leave the house OR be glad I’m going to uni in a years time and hope to distance myself :).
August 14th, 2020 ·
Emily, you got it 100%! And good luck at uni when you get there!
August 28th, 2020 ·
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 years. We both abused alcohol and eventually quit drinking because we got involved with drugs, he ended up with a mental illness from it, major depressive disorder with psychotic tendencies. I have been through hell with this man, physical abuse at the beginning of our relationship along with mental and verbal abuse which continues to this day. My kids that ranged in age 21, 19 and 14 when we got together have occasionally seen this abuse for the past 18 years and they tolerated him until now which they want me to be completely done with him and so does my Mom and my 3 older brothers. We split up a little over a year ago and I have been considering getting back together with him, we are both clean, we are best friends, we truly love each other and care about each other. But sometimes he gets agitated and we start to argue about whatever, that’s when his whole karma stuff begins. He starts saying bad karma is coming your way (me), wishes bad karma on my kids, wishes bad karma on my brothers. Not only bad karma but he wishes evil karma on all of us, my family!! I believe in karma, I tell him don’t wish bad or evil karma on my family because it will reverse on you. Eventually he will tell me he’s sorry for doing that and blame it on his mental illness. But at this point, he has pushed it way to far for me, wishing bad or evil karma on my kids, my brothers is a deal breaker for me, especially saying bad/evil karma on my kids even if he does have a mental illness it is totally uncalled for!! So am I right to feel that this is a deal breaker? Or should I forgive him because he does have a mental illness!! I just feel like mental illness or not, it’s not a good enough excuse for wishing bad/evil karma on my family. Do you agree with this? Is there someway I can lift this bad/evil karma from my kids lives, my brothers lives, my life? Thank you for your advice.
I forgot to add that since my “ex” boyfriend has been saying bad karma to my kids and my family, one of my brothers suffered a stroke and my ex has real hatred towards this brother and continues to wish even worse karma on him. How can I stop this?
August 29th, 2020 ·
Hi Mary, Firstly – Congratulations on being clean! Your highest priority should be to yourself, staying clean and sober, and finding a healthy life – because you deserve it and are worth it. One day at a time, it’s yours to create. This is the simplest truth in all of life. So, my suggestion would be to create a “filter” that you use to make decisions. A filter is a question you ask yourself, such as: “Does this decision add value to my life?” or “Does this decision make me healthier, or less healthy?” Once you have that filter (and you use it), it will be easier to make decisions.
As to your specific question, I believe you answered it yourself. One of the things I know to be true is that if you have to ask – you already know the answer. Mental illness is definitely something we should all have a deeper understanding and acceptance of – however, acceptance of someone else’s mental illness does not mean a lack of healthy boundaries for you. Their mental illness is theirs to work on, address, and find ways to health – it’s never an excuse for poor treatment of other people. It’s often used as a “reason” for such behavior, but that still doesn’t excuse it.
Your best way forward is to look into your heart, find yourself there, and make decisions based on the love you deserve, the happiness you deserve, and the health you deserve. Because you do. You do deserve all those things. Be well.
September 25th, 2020 ·
I hope karma snaps back on certain people soon! I just had a teammate wish me hurt so she could get my spot on varsity. I had this big dream of playing at our division conference and wanting to go to states sometime in my high school career. But this girl just wished me injured so low and behold I got hurt. So now, I’m spending time I should have been playing my heart out crying on the sidelines. It just sucks to see your dreams crushed! It was just so uncalled for and karma needs to act soon!
September 26th, 2020 ·
Hi Hannah, I’m so sorry this has happened. I know how much it hurts to have your dreams feel like they are being pulled away from you. When this has happened to me in the past, I used the time to refocus (after a few good cries and bouts of anger). The best karma is the one you create yourself, by focusing on something new, something that you create, and something that makes you even happier. Not always easy in the moment, but 100% worth it in the end. Rest well and let your body heal. One dream gone is not all dreams gone. And you never know what your next dream will be or where it will bring you. Take care of yourself.
October 27th, 2020 ·
Please help me I always get intrusive thoughts about my loved ones and I unconsciously and unintentionally wish for bad things for them. It’s not like I’m angry or I hate them but I love them a lot. I don’t know why this is happening to me like wishing God or universe for negative things for them eventhough I start praying to ask for their good healthy n happiness. I feel guilty for wishing like that n get scared that I asked for some horrible things to happen to my loved ones n keep on asking God or universe to not to grant them n forgive me n bless my loved ones with health wealth and happiness. And this above process continues for many hours until I feel satisfied that they forgave me. And I have a doubt will wishing for bad things for others effect them? I feel like I have two voice n always the negative one is suppressing my positive original thoughts or wishes. All I want is that my dad n mom to be healthy regardless of whatever I do. Please help me how can I stop all those past negative wishes effecting them? How can I become positive n wish good for others? What have I done to get this karma of wishing God or universe to harm my loved ones? I get intrusive thoughts when I meditate n the same old story blessing negative n then stop meditating on the spot. Is it okay to do meditation for me? Please please help me. Thank you in advance
November 13th, 2020 ·
Hi Veronika, I have a very simple tool to share with you that I learned many decades ago. It is a phrase that you can say after anything in order to “reverse” it. We are all human, and sometimes, our emotions get the better of us – even when we’re in meditation. Sometimes, especially when we are. When we get quiet, sometimes our minds wander to places that we don’t wish to go. The reason for it is anyone’s guess. It could be something you watched on TV or read somewhere… or just about anything. So, the best thing is to let yourself have the thoughts, then let them go, and say the phrase “CANCEL AND PURIFY” after you have said them. This is a statement to the universe that you didn’t mean what you just thought or said… and asks them to both CANCEl and PURIFY the thought or statement. I think if you practice it, you will find relief.
May you find peace in your meditations going forward.
November 4th, 2020 ·
It’s never ok to wish harm on anyone else. If you do, you’re actually inviting that bad energy back into your life tenfold. Karma doesn’t discriminate in that regard – what you reap, you will (eventually) sow. Always.
This scares me because of the fact that I wished my friend bad luck. I never thought that something bad would really happen to her, the hell I know?! I was irritated and hated her for a while for some petty thing and did not think of the consequences when wishing her bad luck. I thought it was normal not until it she experienced unusually bad things, twice.
I want to think it’s just coincidence. I don’t want someone close to me suffering because of my cursing. That was not really my intention. Again, she is a good friend and I thought it was a normal thing to curse when you’re mad.
It already happened and I asked forgiveness from God. I gave my friend a hint about it and I don’t know if she got it and resented me. Were still friends and I don’t want to do something like that again, ever.
Still, I need advice. I think that’s not enough. She’s not the only one I wished such things and I want to take it all back. I vent this out on a facebook group and they said to forgive myself because I was mad and it was just coincdence. Now, I’m here seeking for help. I’m still bothered today. I’m afraid of karma.
November 13th, 2020 ·
Hi, I think asking for forgiveness is always a good thing, especially when you may have unintentionally harmed someone when you were feeling emotional. That’s not an excuse, but it is a reason. (Excuses and reasons are not the same thing.) That being said, if you are still feeling the weight of your words and thoughts in wishing harm on others because you were upset, I would suggest taking a moment in silence, feeling deeply into your heart, and actually forgiving yourself for having done it. You need to start with yourself, accept that you are human and we (all) make mistakes, and then forgive yourself and learn from the mistakes you made. As for the others in your life, as I replied to Veronika — you can use the phrase “CANCEL AND PURIFY” to ‘undo’ statements or thoughts you might have had. It’s a good practice to get into… not just for wishing harm on others, but also for manifesting. Sometimes we manifest something without realizing we have, such as the phrase “It’s just my luck…” The Universe hears that sometimes and complies. So, it’s a good habit to learn to say “cancel and purify” after anything you don’t REALLY mean.
Over time, you’ll find that you start to live with stronger boundaries, from a healthier place at the core of your being. Not only do your words change, but your thoughts do too. Hope that helps!
January 30th, 2021 ·
I was recently hexed over Facebook, now as a student of spirituality, I am aware of the negative consequences this could present back to the person who believes in their ability to cause spiritual harm.
Long story short, this misguided individual felt as if they were being attacked/belittled for her ignorance regarding race issues. Mind you it was not Me who called her out for her statement. But she blamed me, and thusly hexed me. Now I want to know if there is a way to release this negative energy, I honestly don’t want the Barma (bad Karma shortened) to fall back on her. Her health is very poor, she recently had a double lung transplant and her body is fighting the new lungs. She already has so many issues.
I have severed my online ties with her, I don’t want that in my life.
However is it better to just ride out this bad luck I am currently havin? I know things will get better for me. I don’t want the energy to come back on her. I honestly forgive her for the thought, and I want her to have better days, I am sure this happened within her own head and she is feeling tremendous grief and anger regarding her situation.
I myself, I pray about these things and I believe I will be fine, but could I ask you to put an honest and sincere blessing out there in this world for this lady who’s initials are JG if that helps. I really don’t want any more harm to come to her. Are you able to help with this?
February 7th, 2021 ·
I hear you, and I am glad you are clear on what is yours and what isn’t yours. And yes, you can offer a blessing to her as well as ask that this misguided attack be neutralized. It will be up to her, her guides, and the Universe (or whatever word you choose) to make that happen, but it is possible – especially as it is coming from a place of compassion from you. Here is what I would do… Say to the Universe, “I understand that this karma is not mine, and I appreciate the opportunity to transmute it from a place of compassion for others-especially JG-and ask that this hex be canceled and purified, throughout all of time. Thank you. Amen (or So Be It.)”
Thank you for your kind heart. I will add my prayer to yours for her. I will also add a prayer that your “current bad luck” also “be moved along, that you get out of it what you needed to get out of it, so that it may move along freely with grace and ease, and you may be blessed. Amen.”
Blessings are always welcome, as they don’t interfere with free will… as you probably already know. They’re a great practice to get into, as they not only help others, but they help us as well. Many blessings to you. -M.
March 14th, 2021 ·
My husband is a malignant narcissist who has been abusing me for 25 years. I cannot leave, as i have nowhere else to go. I was an adopted child and the elderly people who adopted me are dead. The police is no help either, a few years ago he almost beat me to death and they did not even arrest him. Then of course he pressured me to withdraw the case against him also. He is ridiculously rude and abusive to me every single day. In front of our children too. I have prayed to the christian god for years, i have cried out to the universe for years, nothing and nobody is gonna come and rescue me. He has told me that he frequently wishes me dead. I wish it could be different but by now i wish him dead too.
March 15th, 2021 ·
I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. This is wrong. I am not sure what country you are in, but what your husband is doing is illegal in my country, and I don’t understand why the police have not helped. Additionally, there are organizations in my country that specifically help women like you (including your children) to leave abusive men. My hope is that you will find an organization like this, and ask them to help you make a plan to leave so that you don’t have to live in fear, and so that you don’t drop a legal case against a man who is abusing you. Abuse of any kind is not okay, and should not be accepted. I will add my prayers to yours that you get help, and that you find a way out, with the support you need to protect yourself and your children. May it be so. -M.
April 7th, 2021 ·
What to do when my neighbours constantly wishes death on me and mumbles expletives on me and constantly stares at me when i go outside makes fun of irregular speech patterns (i have speech impediment with autism.some works i speak Don’t make sense to anyone.sorry it ain’t my mistake) and destroy my Property.Also i have to Deal with bullies at school.i am basically silent nerd kid at school.i can’t Deal with these kind of harassments.i think of attempting suicide.
April 11th, 2021 ·
Firstly, if you are seriously thinking of harming yourself, please please reach out to your local suicide hotline for help. What you are going through (bullying and property destruction, for example) is not right. The people who are doing this to you should be held accountable. Can you go to your head of school and ask for help? I am not sure where you live, but most schools have systems in place to help students who are experiencing what you described. It may not change the bullies’ behaviors, but it can still help you, which is what matters. In the USA, the suicide hotline is open every hour of every day: 800-273-8255. Please ask for help however you can in your local community. A speech impediment is nothing to be ashamed of or bullied over. I am sending you all the hope in the world that you will find help and peace. – Martina
April 9th, 2021 ·
I was also in a abusive relationship with a narcissist for 15-yrs – not physically but every other. I left him and because he feels shame has made it his life goal to try to destroy me, my job prospects, financially, turn my friends and family against me etc. His grown kids have disowned him and our children prefer not to see him. He’s impervious to Karma bec he blames everything that happens to him on other people, is never accountable or apologetic. I researched this because I generally am very forgiving, but it’s really hard when the attacks keep coming. In the past when he’s been exposed he would threaten to commit suicide – even walking around waving a gun in front of our kids. I sometimes wish he would just do it and release us all but then feel horrible for thinking that.
April 11th, 2021 ·
Christy, I hear you and understand. It’s one of the hardest things to accept that someone else’s behavior is their own responsibility, especially if we have ever felt love or care for that person. I am sorry you are going through this, and I applaud you and your kids for holding boundaries with regard to your own mental/physical/emotional health. That, at the end of the day, is what is most important. Whether or not he *thinks* he is impervious to karma, doesn’t matter. Nobody is impervious to karma. My hope for you is that you continue to do what is healthy and best for yourself and your kids. Knowing that at the end of the day, you can truly only care for yourself, and everyone is ultimately responsible for their own behaviors and actions in this life. -Martina
June 24th, 2021 ·
My FWB screwed my heart,my life and my mind up like no other ,I am so hurt to a point where I wish he would meet with an accident or something bad happens to him ,I am so mad I can’t shake the feeling off
June 26th, 2021 ·
Hi Hayu, Firstly, I am so sorry your heart is hurting. There is a saying in mental health: “Hurt people, hurt people.” It’s very true that often the people that hurt us do so because they are hurting. It doesn’t make it okay, though, to hurt someone. As an example: You’re hurting, and you want to hurt someone as a result. And so the cycle continues. Your anger (and all your other feelings) are fully justified if you have been hurt. I would simply suggest that, instead of continuing the cycle, you work with someone who can actually help you heal. Because until you heal yourself, you are allowing your FWB to continue to hurt you – without actively doing anything. (Yikes!) My hope for you is that you love yourself enough to stop that, break the cycle, and get the help you deserve to heal from the inside out. -Martina
June 29th, 2021 ·
I was horrifically abused as a child. I had experience a horrific amount of pain in my life and still do. But i used to wish people to die because i couldnt handle all the pain i had on the inside. i wished bad on people. I only wanted them to feel the pain that was inflicted on me not knowing they had no idea how much pain was already inflicted on me. One day i woke up not going in to detail but i realized all that was evil. i did not know that what i was doing was evil. Actually apart of me was also numbed to life for about 30 years. I have told the truth to God and have asked his forgivenesss knowing i never wanted people to die or bad to happen to anyone. And God knows how much pain i have on the inside. I fight with this everyday. Asking God to forgive me everyday for anything. Inside i didnt mean it i just wanted people to quit inflicting pain on me when i didnt on them. I also was so abused that i cannot totally function socially. My mind and mentally was stunted as a child and still is. Does anybody have any input?
June 30th, 2021 ·
Hi Sandy, You are very brave. It takes courage to realize that it’s not right to wish harm on others, while still experiencing so much pain yourself. I am glad, for your sake, that you realized this, and I send you much love and grace for the battle you “fight everyday.” While you say your mind may have been stunted as a result of the abuse, your heart has grown exponentially. My hope (and prayer) is that you find peace and love inside yourself, and that with time, that peace and love heal your wounds so that you may be free. You most certainly are deserving of grace, healing, and love. And if you can, I hope that you receive professional help to assist you with the trauma you undoubtedly experienced. Sending you blessings on your journey. -Martina
August 4th, 2021 ·
Hi Martina. My wife and I, along with my two younger boys, just moved to a brand-new house. We have a wooden panel fence along the side of the house that defines our property line, but the fence belongs on our side of the property. Our neighbors painted their side of the fence and speckles of paint were sprayed onto our entire side of the house exterior siding, walls, windows and frames, and trims. They were made aware of the damages but have been ignoring my attempts for resolution. It’s been over 3-months now and we are unable to enjoy our home because of this situation. It’s been very difficult, and we ask ourselves why are people like this in this world? Why do people not take responsibility and accountability for their actions? It makes me sick to my stomach. It’s very awkward for us when we run into them in the yard. For them, they just go about their business and would sometimes make judgmental/angry faces at us, like we did something wrong. I’m at a point where I am thinking bad thoughts and want bad things to happen to them. I was searching on the web how to wish bad things upon people – then, I came across your website. Your site makes a lot of sense and it’s very calming. But, I can’t get over the fact that my neighbors wrongfully did things to our property and they are not taking accountability for their actions. I want bad things to happen to them so they can learn their lesson. I know what’s right from wrong, but at the moment I am conflicted, and I guess I’m seeking guidance and insight from you. How do I take the high road on this? Please help. Thank you. -Jin
August 5th, 2021 ·
Firstly, thank you for the kind comment about my site being calming and sensical. I do my best. Secondly, there are of course other paths you can take here, but it all depends on where you want to expend your energy. For starters, you can look into legal options, such as a small claims court, which would be most effective if you have documented proof (such as pictures) proving their culpability. That would be the most tangible solution. However, that would only solve for the actual damage. There is a bigger issue here: Your emotional/mental state. You said two things that stand out to me: 1) “we are unable to enjoy our home because of this situation,” and 2) “It makes me sick to my stomach.” Both of these statements say to me that the damage is not necessarily the extra paint splatters, which could probably be easily remedied, but rather that you are attaching a significance to them that goes beyond the original action. This is why you are feeling so awful about this. The downside is, when people are feeling awful like this, they believe the remedy is to pass that awful feeling onto others. They think that will help them feel better, but it doesn’t. It just makes more awful in the world.
So, I invite you to consider one more thing you said, “at the moment I am conflicted.” You are conflicted because of the awful feelings you are sitting with, that seemingly have no remedy. There is no remedy, because you are putting 100% of the desired solution onto somebody else. You want them to change, to become aware, to take responsibility. This is all outside of you. So, in essence, you are looking for an external solution to an internal problem. This will never work. Instead of doing that, it would be better to heal your internal conflict, internally. When you ask the question: “Why are people like this in the world?” The simple answer is: Nobody truly knows. Are they selfish because they are wounded? Raised that way? Scared? It can be a million things. There is no real answer to the question you ask. So, the only thing to do is to ask a different question. Instead of “why are people like this in the world?” ask yourself, “How do I want to be in the world?” or “How do I want our boys to be in the world?” “What actions am I taking daily (even hourly) to be what I wish to see?”
You have 100% of the power to change what is going on inside of you. You can resolve the conflict without your neighbors doing or changing anything. Your biggest hurdle to feeling better is knowing (or remembering) that you have this control. Once you remember it, then you can take steps in your own life to feel better. Sadly, there seems to be no lack of people like your neighbors, but I believe that we can deliberately, and intentionally, create more people like yourself who prioritize sensibility and calm by LIVING from that internal core. I hope this helps. Thank you for reaching out. -Martina
August 29th, 2021 ·
but what about intrusive thoughts and their ocd nature/mental illness nature? can you expect the rule of karma like you wrote above to apply even to them? i got so tired of life and feeling this disconnect plus i recently saw something about abduction then i thought to myself,,, I don’t care if my son gets abducted and something similar about my best friend’s daughter. i don’t intentionally mean it it’s just a thought with a mental illness source and not a real wish i’d say because you know what i felt guilty and wanting to take it back right after..even right now i feel that
September 12th, 2021 ·
Hi Tammy, Firstly, it’s important to honor that mental illness (or any illness) can be exhausting for both the individual and his/her caregivers. Making reactionary statements out of physical exhaustion from being a caregiver is totally normal, even though we don’t mean them. It just shows how over-extended we are. So, my first thought is: Do you have support? Can you get help? Even if it’s just for an hour a week to talk to someone, it helps. Secondly, I’m going to give you a little tool that was given to me about 20 years ago, that is now second nature. When you say something you don’t actually mean, out of fear, exhaustion, or just being human and having too much to deal with, you can follow it up with “Cancel and Purify.” This phrase is a message to karma and the Universe that you didn’t really mean it, you’re just having a really human moment. Use that phrase, it will help. But what will help more would be to find ways to get you more support so you can increase the amount of physical, emotional, and mental real estate you have. When we say mean things out of exhaustion, it shows that we have no more space. We are out of bandwidth, and sometimes we get snippy. So, prioritize looking for ways you can get some more space, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to your friends and family and let them know you are struggling. See if your doctor can recommend a support group or a therapist. Anything you can do to get a little more head and heart space will be good. And then, when you say something you don’t mean, follow it with “cancel and purify.” I wish you well. – Martina
September 30th, 2021 ·
TRUE KARMA DOES EXIST
SOONER OR LATER
FOR EVERY ONE
THAT’S WHY DO GOOD KARMA NOT BAD
WISHING BADD ON OTHERS
DOESN’T HAVE THE EFFECT YOU WANT IT TO HAVE ON THEM
KARMA IS GOING TO GET YOU BACK BECAUSE REAPING WHAT YOU SOW
WILL TAKE IT’S TOW
KARMA IS EVERY WHERE I PROMISE YOU LURKING JUST WAITING READY TO ATTACK WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
November 22nd, 2021 ·
This seems a little contradictory. You say if you have been hurt by others, then it is okay to experience all the emotions running through you. Well, negative emotions usually have negative thoughts connected to them, so how is it possible to experience ALL the emotions but then stopping short of some of them? I would say that it is perfectly okay to have bad thoughts, so long as you don’t act on them. And many times, we don’t control our thoughts to the degree that we think do, so if I tell you not to have bad thoughts, you probably will have a bad thought at me telling you not to have a bad thought, but that doesn’t mean you are that thought or that thought defines you. It is simply a thought, and most likely a passing one. So instead of making yourself feel bad for having a bad thought because you’ve been hurt, I would say it is okay to experience the bad thought and that it is normal to have that thought but that you should consider the negative side of being negative without passing any judgment on yourself, and just letting time pass and looking at forgiveness and serenity.
November 22nd, 2021 ·
Hi Charlie, Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I actually think we’re saying the same thing – you just went into more detail than I did when it comes to the “thoughts” aspect of karma. The “stopping short” that I referred to in the blog is akin to what you said about “so long as you don’t act on them.” Thoughts are thoughts, and we have an immeasurable number every single day, and having a thought is definitely not the same as acting on it. However, I do know that thoughts have energetic power, so sometimes having a bad thought can lead to karma if you don’t chose to recognize it and let it go. That being said, I will also say that with practice we can train our thoughts so that when a negative thought does come up, we can acknowledge it and move on. Similar to what you said about being “okay to experience the bad thought… that it is normal.” All in all, we seem to be coming at it from a similar perspective, and I appreciate your contribution to furthering the discussion. All my best, Martina
December 20th, 2021 ·
Darn! I wish there weren’t such a hefty price for casting evil spells on people. I have nasty coworkers that look down on me and give all kinds of bad vibes and I really wanna use magic to teach them a good lesson, fix their little red wagons. You know? This is frustrating! 😤
December 22nd, 2021 ·
Hi Angela, Your comment made me giggle a little, as yes, it can be very frustrating to bear witness to (and experience) others’ bad behavior. We’re human, after all. For me, I’ve found that doubling down on my boundaries, as well as the things that bring me joy really helps. If I intentionally shift my focus to something that makes me happy or feel inspired, here’s what happens: The annoying people behaving badly become insignificant, which is probably exactly what they don’t want. But I’ve done it without affecting my own karma. 😉 So… go find something to focus on that brings you peace, joy, or laughter, and let them sit in their low vibrations alone. Take care, Martina
February 18th, 2022 ·
I’ve wished harm on someone who is a vile vile person who has done awful things …and I feel bad. I’m not a bad person, just an ordinary one wishing for a life of peace. What can I do to guard myself from the rebound ? ..if anything? How can I ask for spiritual forgiveness.
February 21st, 2022 ·
Hi CC, The first step is in acknowledging that you did it – so, bravo! (It’s okay, we are all human and all do things we later regret – so be kind to yourself.) The 2nd step is to make amends. Here’s what I recommend: Offer up kindness to someone else (or many people!), not as a debt but because you hold the intention in your heart that you choose to align with WHO YOU ARE – which is kind. Then, with regard to the bad karma you wished, reflect on it, write it on a piece of paper, then say “cancel and purify.” Then burn the paper and visualize the smoke flying up to the heavens to be purified, and then bury the ashes in the earth and pour water over the top to help purify them. Then, for the last step, say THANK YOU. Thank the earth for purifying it and the heavens for purifying it, and yourself for honoring who you are and recognizing this need to change. Then make a commitment to yourself to honor your kindness (who you are) and not do it again. 🙂 I wish you well. -Martina
April 16th, 2022 ·
There’s an albeit small issue that’s been bothering me, and I wondered if you might be able to help. I’ve been with someone who I believe is a narcissist / Jekyll and Hyde guy – and a verbally abusive one at that. Removing myself from his “haze of negativity,” has been difficult because jobs in my field of experience are scarce.
That being said, a few years ago during one of his fits of rage, he wished something very negative on me, that has since come to pass and has made life very difficult for me. What I would like to know is if negative wishes that are sent to you by another, dispel after they have come to pass.
Despite the hardship, I have been trying to stay positive regarding my own day-to-day and moving forward in my life, especially moving away from this “beacon of negativity” I’ve survived with.
April 16th, 2022 ·
Hi Fotini, Firstly, I’m sorry you have been in a relationship that is verbally abusive. If… or WHEN you can leave, I hope you find the strength and courage to do so, so that you can start a life of joy, hope, and peace – that you are more than worthy of having. As for the “wish” he made against you, that’s another issue. Sometimes when people wish bad things on us, we play a quiet/passive role in them coming true – simply by believing in it. It comes back to “self-fulfilling prophecy” — and it is the only role you had in it: Belief (usually without being aware that you believed it). So, what matters is asking yourself this: Do you believe it to be true? Now that it’s come to pass, do you believe it’s done? Or, do you believe that it’s still true? If you want the wish to “dispel” then you have to believe something else to be true. You can’t change an original belief by simply saying it’s not true — you have to believe something MORE true, that is stronger. So, what do you believe? Do you believe you are worthy of love? Joy? Peace? Happiness? Healthy relationships? I believe you are. I hope you do, too. I think you do, though, because you said you do your best to stay positive in your own day-to-day… and that’s worth a lot. Possibly more than anything. To do your best, despite hardship, shows strength of character. You’re not denying that the hardship exists (which is false positivity), but acknowledging it, and choosing a different path forward. I think it is incredibly likely that his “wish” is more than done… because you’ve already decided on a better life for yourself. Well done, you! 🙂 I wish you well. -Martina
June 27th, 2022 ·
I have recently wished harm on someone for good reason but having read your article, it did make me stop and think about karma and wasted energy etc!
This may seem a silly question but once you wish harm on someone, can you take it back?
June 29th, 2022 ·
That’s definitely not a silly question, and yes, you can. Sort of. It’s not so much that you “take it back” it’s more that you acknowledge that you made the wish in error and then you actively do something proactive to balance it out and counter it. So, you can’t just say “I didn’t mean it” (though that’s part of it), you have to also PROVE that you didn’t mean it by taking action and creating change in your own life by doing something positive for your karma. It doesn’t necessarily have to be with that person, though if it can be… so much the better. For example, you could send a blessing to that person, and then do a kindness for a stranger. That might look like this:
Get nice and quiet and sit peacefully somewhere, ideally on the ground. Take 3 deep and slow clearing breaths so you can connect to your heart. Then say: “I acknowledge that I wished ill on someone in error as I am human and can make mistakes. I do not wish ill on that person, in fact, I would like to send them a blessing: ‘May their heart know peace and may they know love/joy/hope’ (fill in the word). I send them this blessing as I say ‘Go in peace.'” Then release your words through your breath. Again, take 3 clearing deep breaths and invite the peace to your own heart as well. Then, choose to do some kindness for someone else, not as a penance or a quid pro quo, but as a genuine kindness, from your heart. As you do the kindness, set the intention that you do this in peace, with peace in your heart, and in honor of the person you had previously wished ill upon that they, too, may know peace.
I hope that helps. Living with peace in your heart is the best remedy for the challenges of being human. We all make mistakes, and we can all learn from mistakes if we are willing. Sending you peace, Martina
October 25th, 2022 ·
I just get so upset and frustrated about these evil conservatives. (Trump supporters. Candace Owens for example). They are such hypocrites. It’s hard not to wish harm on them. I assume I should leave it up to Karma to deal with them how Karma chooses.
February 6th, 2023 ·
What is wishing harm on some one? I wonder if it’s okay to wish some one would die so that person would stop harming themselves and others. It’s exhausting to continually receive harm and be unable to get away from the harm. I suppose it’s healthy to wish that person would heal through some other means than dying? My experiences of that person aren’t going away, so what’s a healthy, strong perspective and thought to have?
February 6th, 2023 ·
Hi Jean, I am glad that you are questioning this and asking what’s a healthy, strong perspective to have. I think you actually answered your own question when you said, “I suppose it’s healthy to wish that person would heal through some other means.” Yes. That’s the healthy perspective. I’d only add that you can also wish for the people who are being harmed to build stronger boundaries so that they, too, can find greater health and freedom from the other person’s harmful actions. Instead of wishing someone harm for their actions, we can wish for the strength and boundaries to remove ourselves from them and their actions, so that we are no longer harmed – and then wish for their healing so they stop harming. In the end, we can’t change others, we can only change ourselves and our actions. By removing ourselves from harmful situations and people, we are taking a first and important step for our own well-being and safety. I wish you well, Martina