Karma 101

Karma isn’t a “chicken and egg” question. The Universe always waits for you to make the first move.

I’ve heard countless people witness something un-wonderful happen to someone they know (and often dislike) only to follow it up with the phrase, “haha… karma!” But when something equally as un-wonderful happens to them or a loved one, it is rarely described as karma. Rather it’s often lamented as unfair.


Karma isn’t selective. It shows up equally for every single person, in its appropriate timing. Often I’ve heard people talk about doing things in retribution for something un-wonderful, because… “karma.” As if they (not the Universe) are in control of meting out karmic destinies. What they fail to realize is that the un-wonderful thing was already the karma returning. It could have ended at that point. To keep the cycle going is a choice. What that means is:

You don’t give what you get; you get what you give.

Karma is about receiving what you’ve already put out. Therefore, to continue to put out un-wonderful things is equivalent to asking for more un-wonderful things for yourself. And that’s the key to karma: Giving comes first.

So, the next time you have a decision to make because somebody treated you unkindly or something un-wonderful happened, think about what you want coming back to you later, then give that. Do that. If you want more strife and conflict, that’s a choice. If you want peace and harmony, it’s within your power to put that out there and ultimately receive it in return.

You get what you give. Karma.


  • Angela Denise Tester
    January 21st, 2022 · Reply

    What do you do when it’s your mother that wishes you harm and makes fun of you and doesn’t want you to succeed in your life? Because that’s what I deal with everyday of my life I do not like being around her anymore and she is really selfish what do I do? I live with her and am really trying to find my own place i have nobody to talk to about any of this because people think am crazy and just heartless but am not.like yesterday I went and bought her a birthday cake do you think she said thank you no what she said was what is that my stomach has been hurting all day she didn’t even touch it well that hurt my feelings and then one day she hadn’t seen her grandson in a long time so I brought him over here and the first thing out of her mouth was what are y’all doing here that hurt my son’s feelings really bad and it pissed me off.please somebody help

    • Martina Faulkner
      January 21st, 2022 · Reply

      Hi Angela, Firstly, I know this is very hard for you, as parent/child relationships are often filled with unexpressed (and unrealistic) expectations. To that point, I think it is crucial that you get help from a professional to support you as you navigate changing the relationship to a healthier one. Many communities have free services through local organizations, including churches and community centers. A professional can help teach you about boundaries and what healthy communication looks like. If your mother doesn’t want to change, it doesn’t matter, because life is always about changing yourself, not changing others. So, step 1 is look for the local services you have available, and make the decision to invest in yourself in that way. Your son will thank you for it. Step 2 is to acknowledge that your mother is the way she is (however much that may hurt), and that you can’t change her. If you bring her a cake, you do it because that’s who YOU are (kind, thoughtful, etc). Any response from her is about her, not you. It’s not always easy to look at life this way, but it is definitely healthier. It means that your emotions (and sense of self) are no longer subject to somebody else’s whims (problems, issues, thoughts, beliefs, etc.) Most importantly, though… please get help from a professional. Sharing with friends and family is never the way to go, as they all have their own perspectives and experience that they bring to the conversation. A trained professional is the right way to go for you to be free of this situation. Wishing you peace, Martina

  • Steve
    January 22nd, 2022 · Reply

    My wife speaks ill to me whenever we fight. One time, she was so angry that she told me that I will spend my birthday alone. Months later, because she had mild COVID, I had to isolate our baby for two weeks, and I did spend my birthday alone. A few weeks ago, she was mad because of a petty thing, she said I will get bad karma 10x. And right now, I contracted COVID. Days ago, she spit at me because she said I was making my son blind by making him face the sun. Today, I made a joke and she didn’t like it, she again told me that I can’t wait for you to receive karma. “Karma is waving, wait for it asshole.” My questions are, first, it appears that when she wishes me bad karma, something bad does happen to me. How can I contradict this? And more importantly, will I receive bad karma if I leave her and our son? Because I cannot take any more of the verbal abuses.

    • Martina Faulkner
      January 24th, 2022 · Reply

      Hi Steve, Firstly, I’m sorry this is happening, and while I can’t tell you why it’s happening, I know that karma goes both ways. Often, when people think they are the ones in the clear, they wish bad karma on others. Rarely do people think about their own life in relation to karma and the karma they are creating. (I actually love your comment at the end… asking about incurring bad karma yourself for decisions you may want (or need) to make.) Nobody should treat someone the way you have shared. But, as you know, we can only be responsible for ourselves. So, you can only choose to act from a place of doing what’s best. I once was told that there is no “right or wrong” there is only the “loving” thing to do. This includes love for yourself. If you are being abused verbally, you can ask for it to stop and for her to be neutral. If you would like to stay, I would suggest couples therapy to learn how to communicate healthily with each other. That might be a good first step. Wishing you all the best, Martina

  • SV
    April 8th, 2024 · Reply

    Hi , I out of anger wished harm on someone I know . The lady was preganant , and she is going to have a baby – and without thinking I wished bad for her unborn baby . As soon as the words left my mouth , I have regretted it . I know we should never ever wish harm on other people , especially a child who is not even born !! In my entire life – I have never wished harm on anyone else , I don’t know why or how this time such bad words slipped out of my mouth . I am really really ashamed of myself and I don’t know what I should do to make it up to the lady . I truly truly wish that her baby comes out fine or I would never be able to live with myself ! Please help me as to what I should do 🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • Martina Faulkner
      April 18th, 2024 · Reply

      Hello SV, Thank you for sharing your story. Here is a recent reply to another comment that is similar.
      You can reverse the wishes you put out when you were in anger. As long as you are willing to acknowledge that you weren’t behaving in accordance with your higher or best self when you wished harm on someone else, you can make amends. You have to really mean it, though. You can’t just say it and expect it to change. You have to go into your heart and search for it and then, from your heart, wish them peace. It doesn’t have to be love, it doesn’t have to be anything other than peace. When you wish that person peace, from your heart, you will neutralize the bad wishes you made previously. Peace is a state of neutrality, a place where you are not imposing on others, as you would not wish them to impose on you. So, try that, and see how it feels. Sometimes it can take practice, and the key is always to truly mean it, in your heart. I wish you well… and peace. -Martina

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