So…Confession: I haven’t been myself lately, for myriad reasons: death of a friend, driving over 2,000 miles in 10 days, getting sick, etc. I may have even projected some of this onto others in my life (oops). Then I thought about that first sentence and realized something very important:
I AM being myself….In all my messy, human unique ways.
I therefore have modified it to: I haven’t been my BEST self lately. And that’s ok. I’m not perfect (don’t wanna be), and I’m human (sometimes forget that), which makes me fallible and lovable at the same time. As a dear friend wrote to me recently
“I’m a firm believer in being fabulous and human at the same time.” (Thanks Martha!)
I agree! Which means I mess up, I get things wrong, I get tired, emotional, and confused. It also means that I have great capacity for love, compassion and kindness. I forgive more easily, because I know what it means to screw up.
All that being said, I’ve taken a reflective look at the past few days and where I thought I had messed up, and frankly, I’m not sure I did. I know I didn’t express myself well at times, but I still tried – and there’s value (lots of it) in simply being willing to show up and try, in being vulnerable. In being present.
What I’m getting at then, is this: It’s ok to be vulnerable, scared, and imperfect. In fact, it’s quite normal. Healthy, even. What matters most is what we do when we realize we may have acted somewhat out of alignment with our best self.
What matters to me is that I say sorry if I offended or hurt someone, and I reach out to trusted friends to ask for help when I’m tired or overwhelmed, instead of trying to go it alone. Thankfully, I did just that (after some rest), and I was reminded of how great it is to have friends who love you, for you. They forgive your moody exhaustion and take it all in stride. (Thankfully!) Most importantly, they help you remember your best self, thereby making it easier to return to a state of gratitude and wellness.
So – this week it’s a simple thank you. THANK YOU to my friends who gracefully embraced me in my exhaustion and emotional sadness at the loss of a friend, and who reminded me of the joy, light and love that I hold inside me for life.
This week I’m giving myself permission to be human and forgiveness for not being able to be my best self, in light of all I had going on. Something to think about, then: We often give these things to others in our lives… I encourage you to join me and think about where you can do the same for yourself.