Drama Major

I had a conversation recently with Tom, my holistic doc/chiropractor – I think I’ve mentioned him before. He is awesome! Anyhow, we were talking about drama and crises, living with both and their affect on the choices we make. More specifically, we were talking about me, my life, my drama and all the crises I’ve been involved in or that have occurred around me during my lifetime – and it’s fair to say, I’ve had quite a few for my years.

The question was how to deal with, diffuse and (hopefully) prevent drama in our lives. Tom has a friend with whom he was also discussing this topic recently, and the friend suggested that drama is a necessary part of being human. Indeed, it’s partially what makes us human. From drama (crises) we learn to relate to others, to show compassion, and to care and grow within ourselves. So, I agree. Drama is a necessity; however, chronic drama is not.

Here’s where I’m going to make the distinction: A crisis is, by its nature, dramatic. That kind of ‘drama’ is necessary, because it provides us with the aforementioned lessons and will always regulate itself eventually. The problem comes in when we turn the regular (necessary) drama into a way of life that’s unhealthy. For me, handling a medical crisis is fairly easy, perhaps because I’ve had a fair amount of them to deal with in my lifetime. It’s whether I convert them into unnecessary drama that matters.

Unfortunately, I made a lot of the crises and ‘non-dramatic’ situations in my life more dramatic in order to fulfill the scripted lines of my own story. I was the girl who would stay up until 5am in college, because someone needed to talk. I had no boundaries, and I offered myself freely. (I was good in a crisis, remember?) So, if I didn’t sleep or got sick, it was all part of the equation. It was part of my story, my identity.

This is a story I’ve created, over time (lifetimes?), for various reasons. All of which remain somewhat subconscious. Obviously, what I didn’t know at the time was that all the extra emotional baggage I was creating was unnecessary. All I knew was that I felt needed, alive and viable. Drama, for me, was a way to define my worth and my reason for taking up space on the planet. It’s no surprise I was a Drama Major – I just didn’t realize I was getting my degree in lessons outside of academia!

Which brings us to today and my recent conversation with Tom. He’s working very hard to help me eliminate drama from my life, or at least recognize it for what it is. Ever aware that crises happen over which we have no control, it is a choice to turn that single event into a Three Act play. In this scenario then, it’s being aware of the pattern that matters most.

But how can you be aware of something you’re not aware of? It’s kind of like ‘you don’t know what you don’t know, until you know it.’ Right? Well, there are two ways. One: hopefully you have a friend, family member or healthcare professional who is there to help you see the repeating patterns in your life, and provide you with guidance, support and proper care. Or two: you begin to get tired of always having the same things happen to you, always getting the same results, and you begin to question it and see the patterns yourself. Either way, awareness of these repeating patterns provides us with the opportunity to change. From there, anything is possible.

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