I’m writing a book on finding a Pause button right now, and the research I am doing is fascinating. It’s definitely worthwhile to know how and when to hit “pause” in our lives. But what about actually starting over? What if we are in need of a reset button instead – then what?
I think finding a reset button usually comes after some sort of pause. In the pause we have a realization that things aren’t heading in the best direction. We also realize that the awareness of this fact isn’t enough to change directions. We actually need to stop, get off, and start over. We need a reset. But what does that look like?
Very few of us have the luxury of being able to truly stop everything we’re doing and run off somewhere to “find ourselves.” For those that do have that luxury – it’s usually self-created out of necessity. A necessity so compelling and great that I’m not sure many of us would actually want the ‘problem’ that prompted the running off to begin with. So, the rest of us find a smaller reset where we can. For this purpose, let’s call it a re-charge. Sometimes it’s in a daily walk, sometimes in a bubble bath. Sometimes we find our re-charge button in conversations with friends or family. And sometimes, we find it in a good book. All of these are excellent re-charge buttons. They serve a purpose of slowing us down and allowing us room to breathe, reflect and make different choices. They are usually deliberate in action (i.e. I am going to take a bubble bath), and they usually involve an element of planning. Now, what happens if we find a reset button we weren’t actively searching for or making deliberate decisions about? Then what?
This happened to me recently. I found a reset button that was dormant, hidden, and denied for a very long time. I think I found it easier to live not knowing it was there, than it would have been had I known all along how important it was in my life. How important it was to my inner happiness and peace. And then, while walking over cobblestones in a foreign land, I tripped and hit “reset.” Quite literally, I fell into my reset button, unknowingly and serendipitously. And the process began.
The reboot was initially slow in coming. I knew I felt something stirring in my soul. I knew the feeling was familiar, but distant. I knew I had been here before. I had questions, fears, concerns and worries – but tempering all of that, I had abundant joy and dancing in my heart. I felt pure bliss. And I never want to be without that feeling again.
On this path of mine, I have certainly found inner peace and joy. I know what it is to be grounded and flowing in tune with the Universe around me. But I had forgotten this last piece: I forgot what it felt like to be truly alive, present and experiencing the world around me from a human visceral perspective. I was truly in touch with my inner Divinity prior to this, and I thought that was enough. In fact, I was convinced it was more than enough, and I was prepared to live the rest of my life quite contentedly in that knowing. But the Universe had other things in store for me. They wanted to give me more joy, more love and more laughter. And being the stubborn mule I sometimes am, I didn’t allow them to show me these last few pieces of the puzzle. Instead, I plodded along, quite content in my path, and deliberately ignorant that there was still more. And then it happened.
I fell into a marble womb and allowed my body to be cared for by another human being – another soul. And I came alive. All of my physical senses were stimulated that evening. Sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. They were all experiencing something new. And when I emerged from this ritual – it truly was like being re-born. But this time, I was born with the knowledge of who I truly am, without forgetting it. I found a reset button.
Without searching for it, I stumbled into a new life. It’s a life where everything has a pulse, a scent, and a sound. It’s vibrant, alive, breathing and radiating into my very soul. It’s the essence of who I am, where I’ve come from, and everything in between. It’s the sum total of all my experiences, knowledge and emotions. And it’s simply, me.
So – whether you’re searching for a pause or a reset button, I invite you to take a few steps on uneven ground, and see what you stumble upon. Perhaps you’ll find something you’ve always known, or perhaps you’ll find something more. Either way, the walk is worth the trip.
In Love and Light,